I miss my friend...

Today is one of those bittersweet days that fills my heart with the most profound memories of love... and still... 10 years later... fills my eyes with tears. 10 years ago today I married my best friend yet I've 'celebrated' 10 wedding anniversaries alone. I guess it's a testament to the depth I loved Scott to the degree I can still miss him and remember the details of our time together. That day was filled with so many I love yous, smiles, tender moments and plans of forever. Those who shared the day will remember how hot it was, how Dickey Dee came along to save the day, the tormented gold fish, the mini train ride, pictures in the park, Chuck in the wedding party and the heart felt recognition that we had gotten it right... Days like this I wonder who we'd be today... if we'd ever contemplate this journey I'm on and what our family would be like. More than anything, today, I just try and remember what it felt like to be loved by you and imagine the moment when this time apart will be an uncomfortable memory as I recount this journey in your arms again. I miss you Boo... Wish you were here.
xoxo Kid.

Oh blah dee, oh blah da...La La La La Life goes on...

Life is funny. Not always the gut splitting, laugh and snort Coke out of your nose sort of funny, but more the curious "things that make you go hmmmm" sort of funny. I (true to my home study) think I'm the kind of friend a friend would like to have. The person who shows up with flowers when you need them, an extra set of legs (and sometimes a minivan) to help move, the one who makes you smile the moment you pick up the phone just becuase you know I'll have something wacky to say, and the one who will do the dirty work of friendship even if I really don't want to... I just do - that damn golden rule thing. I've been down the hard road once of figuring out who my friends really are - the ones who got on a plane broke and showed up to cry to sleep with me - the ones who didn't abandon me becuase my life was too hard or they were too scared of saying the wrong thing or thought that I was somehow just too much responsibility. Big life change seem like the right time to update the list of who is always there for me when I need flowers, a mini van, a laugh or a smile... So thanks for being that friend to me and thanks for the drop in visits, the glasses of wine shared, the early morning calls when I'm in the tub and we talk till the waters cold, the shoulder for frustrations, the new friends & old, my sister and fav S.I.L., the friend who drives across town later than you should just becuase you know I could use a hug (and a gallon of ice cream lol) and here's to wishing the east coast and islands were reachable by clicking my heels together 3 times. Here's to the hopes, the dreams and the tears we've shared and here's to the ones ahead - hang in here with me... I'm gonna need some help!

Funny - OK not really funny but it's the sort of humor that an old friend can get away with because I'm laughing right along with her: In conversation relevent to a topic for another day, a bible quote (residual from years of Sunday school and bible camp?) came up: "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." Jo thought that this was hillarious in that I have cornered the market on this one... I think perhaps Coke may have come out her nose... but I think you had to be there because it doesn't have the same effect now does it Jo???

P.S. no real news on the Paper shuffle. I talked to Marie on Friday and she told me that my Dossier should be translated in about a week or so and then will be sent to Ottawa for legalization (she said ~2 more weeks) and then off to Perm... where the wait really begins. Oh yeah - one more thing - I met a nice Russian lady at the coffee shop down the hill who made me promise to bring the little guy in for a visit so she can officially welcome him to Canada. She asked a lot of questions and when I told her I wanted to adopt a toddler boy she got big tears in her eyes and thanked me for helping her countries children... I smell some free coffee which will be nice when I'm broke and on leave from work!!!

Filling time

So there really isn't any news on the adoption front - no filling of forms, no following up with the agency, no questions to ask... nothing... except a little silence (which is OK I guess?). There have been rattlings of a few things in the past while with respect to the Russian adoption world: first, people seem to be starting to panic about the lack of girls available and the resulting wait times for infant girls. Some are contemplating the addition of "either gender" and some are making the switch. I'm hoping this won't affect me in that I'm still waiting for an "older" boy. Time will tell. Next is the Russian invasion / attack on Georgia. It's on the news every on air, but there is little specultion that it will affect adoptions - especially those of Canadians.
OK some fun stuff: it was the twins 6th birthday today and we celebrated with cake, icecream, popsicles, horse & buggy rides and of course gifts all around. I love how excited they get to see me and the hugs and kisses I get from them out of the blue. They love the dogs and are getting better wth them (or the dogs with them?) all the time. They were at my house last weekend and we told them that I am going to adopt a little boy. Of course this meant explaining the whole notion of adoption but I think they got it. They were very interested in, "what is his name?" and then offering up their suggestions (which by the way were either names of their friends or non names... things that weren't really names at all). I know they will be excited as things approach and once he is home they will love having a new little cousin. The Russian language learning is coming along well. I have mastered most of the essential baby words... hello, come here, don't be scared, sit down, I'm your Mama, I love you, good boy, juice, milk, toilet paper, bath, hot, cold, this is our dog... you get the idea. I practice on the dogs sometimes for fun... but their Russian is even worse than their English - go figure. Lyric will be one year old on Wednesday - boy time flies! She is turning into a really good dog. She still amazes me (ocassionally with her 'stupidity' and lack of listening skills) with how fast she is learning. Leash walks aren't a nightmare anymore and her greeting of strangers is way less of a hastle. I am liking hanging out with her more and more!

Well, I better sign off but I'm going to say this: I have this nagging idea in the back of my head... that I'll travel for trip one before Christmas and have him home sometime in the spring. Just throwing it out there - field of dreams.
spa-COIN-a NO-chee (Good night) it's pah-RAH SPAHT (time to sleep)