Friday, January 9, 2009

Change could be in the air

Nothing stays the same except change... A wise piece of advice dolled out by someone likely far more patient than myself. While I have never professed to be patient, I am self declared resilient and resourceful. I feel like in order to find some sense of calm and direction, I NEED to research, discover, figure out and understand all angles of that which I seek to know (when possible... which I'm discovering in International Adoption is quite rare but I digress). I spoke to my SW yesterday and asked the hard questions from a document I titled, "Questions for 2009" - I had to explain to her that although it was a few pages long it was not indeed 2009 questions lol. The biggie was this: "is the summer the BEST I might hope for in terms of a referral?" Long........................ awkward.............................. pause........................perhaps a slight fumble for words................................ and "it could be Stacey... but I don't want to promise THAT and then not have something for you by then". WHAT!!! WOW... I choked back the disappointment and tears as I pondered a 10 or 11 or more month wait for a boy already sitting and just waiting to come home... a boy that nobody visits or wants or loves... Deep breath... I think I muddled through some ream of additional questions but the answer I didn't want to hear kept echoing in my head... the summer... maybe not even by then... you are first on the list for a single boy your age request.... HUH??? Not good enough. So, one of the questions I paid attention to the answer to was, "At what point does a change in region become warranted?" (this question is in light of the fact that the last agency news letter indicates that they will be opening St. Petersburg and Novosibirsk shortly). She told me that it is possible and likely that I could have my documents registered in a new region. She asked if I had a preference (bear in mind that all I could hear bouncing in my cranium was Dear God please don't make me wait until the summer...) so I answered "no... whatever you think is best"... then I promptly consulted with the regional expert... my Russian friend who will be traveling with me. She suggests registering in St. Petes (which in my heart is what I wanted but the words didn't come out right... part desperation, part stunned). So many things could go more easily there... Ole has friends, the city has so much to do and see, it is close to Moscow, Scott was there before we met - I could see the things he told me about and I might even have a place to stay without paying for a hotel. All this and given the size of the city, the baby homes seem to be well funded, staffed and repaired. There are hundreds of little boys born in 2005 and 2006 there... way more than Perm... and at least I remember reading that people are bringing home children from St. Petes which is more than I can say for Perm. So... time will tell but change is in the air... and, if I have to wait until the summer for a referral and travel when it is warm, I'd rather do that in St. Petes than Perm... but I'll go where my boy is. I just hope you hurry home.


Heather said...

Hi Stacey,
I live in Vancouver, BC and am in the process of adopting a 8 - 18 months boy from Nitzny Novgorod. Reading your blog, I thought I may be helpful for us to connect and discuss the process etc. I have not yet met anyone in Canada who has embarked on this journey.
I'd rather chat on off your public blog and if you are interested - send me your email address.

Stacey said...

Hi Heather - I'd like that. I don't know how to contact you though and I don't know that asking Rachel is the best option for contact info. Could you leave your email or let me know how to find you? Given that there is so much info about me on here, I really don't want to post my last name or email if that's ok...

Heather said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Bethany said...

Isn't it fun? The ups and downs of adoption. I vote go for St. Pete. We have an awesome experience there!

Julie Sellers said...

Hi Stacey,

I was so sad to hear the wait continues. The wait for a referral was the WORST part of the process for me.

Most PAP's would say it was the wait for court...the then I had a picture, a video and hope. When I was waiting for a referral I had a whole lot of nothing.

I know there's not a lot that will make you feel better at this point accept to say if I'm ever able to patient the "Adoption Epiural" I'll send it your way.

Julie Sellers

My Blog:

Stacey said...

Wow... if you could patent an adoption epidural that would be FANTASTIC!!! I think that might actually be called a lobotomy and it might affect a homestudy but I'm not sure :-0

Thanks for the remeberance of how it was... it sucks... and who knows for how much longer? Ah wall... in the end all that will matter is that he is home... so I wait (and rattle around)

Izabela and Shawn said...

Hey Stacey, I am in the exact same position. Before x-mass they said that they are optimistic it will happen before x-mass, now I just emailed them and the word is "when we know we will tell you". ARGH!!! The wait is like a rollercoaster ride and I too am thinking about switching regions. Keeping my fingers crossed we have our little ones by the summer.

webchrissy said...

Hey Stacey,
Just wanted to drop a note and say hello and send you good wishes! Hope all is well...the time will come soon...

Amy said...

Hi Stacey,

Thanks for your comment on my blog. Hope you are hanging in there. What's the latest on St Petes?

The wait is the hardest - isn't it?