Monday, January 25, 2010

Another day bites the dust

Am I getting better at this or was today just simply a red letter day in terms of having something that I could actually control?  Yes ladies and gentlemen, I handed over the keys to the control center in this adoption the day I turned in my first home study (I'm now on version 3 draft one but no one other than me and the lady at the provincial government who signs off is actually really counting - I count because I pay for each one and the rubber stamp counts because it's a pain in the %$@ to approve essentially the same document 3x over... but I digress).  I planned and plotted my meeting today with the social worker who is on board to make the changes for dossier number two.  LATE last night I sent off a list of 48 line items that I needed ammended, updated or deleted from the other copies.  Our meeting skipped the "getting to know you" stage and went directly into "page 1 paragraph two: currently reads xyz and needs to now read abc".  I knew what to expect going into the meeting and my goal was to get in, get out, get er' done and make it easy for the SW to follow so that things can be done quickly.  And the angels sang when she told me that she has set aside time tomorrow to complete the update and will have it ready for sign off by Wednesday by the director and then I can sign off later this week.  The lady with the rubber stamp is likely in a rubber room after dealing with the stress of the children coming home from Haiti in the transfer but, I hope it (the stamp) is good and warmed up... she knows it's coming... she knows I need it... and I sent her flowers last week.  Gold star for me (albeit a completely self serving and transparent attempt to gain favor... I hope it was a nice boquet lol).  On the completely positive side, the social worker seemed very open to my rational for making some of the not so standard change requests.  There were a couple of paragraphs that didn't sit well with me (a play by play of what happened in our accident and some details regarding my Father's health that have no bearing on my ability to parent) and she agreed to remove them... I didn't even have to convince her... it was almost a bit weird.  Anyway, I am waiting on my finger prints and one form from the bank which will be available tomorrow... so, with that, I guess I will start to wait on my home study approval.  Making nice with the lady at the government might be the best thing I ever did... praying for a quick turn.  I meet with my banker geek on Friday to figure out how the mortgage will pay itself while I'm off.  It's a weird experience... living on my own and having a comfortable life, I'm a bit ashamed to say that I have never really budgeted.  I make, I plan for the future and I spend (not always in that order).  2 years ago I did my financial statement... when I re did it the other day I had to stop and think... who's Peter and who's Paul??? I get 9 or 10 months off from work and the government (OH CANADA!) pays a portion during that time (enough to cover the biggest bill)... my employer tops up to 75% for the first 12 weeks and then... it's bread and water time.  Seriously though, it makes me wish I were more careful before... it will be fine... no, it will be amazing to have all that time with my boy (as the song "just the two of us" rings through my head lol) but I will be watching my pennies during that time.  If anyone wants a beautiful little cabin (or 325 of them?)out on Ghost Dam... it will help buy baby G some shoes (kidding... sort of...
I've been home just over 3 weeks and in one breath it's a heart beat and I just got home with my feet under me... in another, it catches the breath in my throat when I think in two days it will be a month ago that I met you for the first time... Moments come when it hits me... and I miss you... a lot.  Moments come when I look at my watch and wonder what you are doing... if they have showed you the pictures or read you my letter... moments hit me when I wonder if you are angry that I haven't come back... moments hit me when I look at the clothes I can't seem to stop buying and wonder if you will hit a growth spurt and nothing will fit that I have planned... moments hit that I know that even though this moment is hard... forever is a long time... and you will be here forever and these moments will disappear in fits of giggles, kisses, bubble baths, and watching you swing at the park next door.  For now, I let those moments remind me that soon those little moments will link together to create the days of our years and the years of our life together.  I can't wait. 

1 comment:

amy and kevin said...

Our adoption processes have such similar timing! Our updated homestudy draft is finished, is currently being reviewed and should be final tomorrow or Thursday. Will pick up the psychologist letters tomorrow or Thursday and then we can send everything for apostille. Woohoo! I can't wait to say that dossier #2 has left our hands.

We came home 1 month ago today. It has actually FLOWN by, but in the last week or so we have started to get bummed that she is sitting in her crib while we are dying to bring her home. I think Kevin is more upset than me, but that's probably because I'm the one coordinating all the paperwork and he has more time to think about her :)

I need some more projects to keep me busy (beyond shopping) so I'm going to start packing.
Thinking of you,