Sunday, April 25, 2010

Angry and irrational

I decided to go private so that I can say exactly what I think about the process from here on out.  I received news from my facilitator today that casually informed me that the main judge who hears adoption cases in Khabarovsk is gone until May 28th.  It was sort of like - oh hey, by the way... all while trying to distract me with the "fact" that the judge can take up to 2 months to review my documents and set a trial date... this just simply buys time given that my documents have been there since April 15th and it is entirely possible that the judge won't even be contemplating setting pre trial until early June.  I am infuriated. There have been so many delays and concessions made due to the fact that my agency is new to the region and that the facilitator is a new facilitator... I'm done making concessions and I'm done allowing for excuses.  It is time to call a spade a spade and say that this process has been riddled with mistakes and delays that can quite simply be attributed to lack of professionalism, caring, and attention to detail.  I can't tell you how many errors I have caught in documentation or process.  For example why is it my job to follow up and check in and chase down why the DMP had not been to see Corbin after their Christmas break?  Finally after asking about 8x I was told that he made it there by January 26th... one can only wonder how long it would have taken for someone else to catch the mistake.  There are so many mistakes it would take all night to remember and log them.  I am so frustrated with this team of "professionals" that I pay to adovcate for me and my son.  So, what does this all mean?  I sent a 4 page long "snot-o-gram" to my agency DEMANDING that they do something to figure this mess out and I went so far as to suggest that I am happy to contact another facilitator who I have come to know in the region to complete the job that our facilitator is so obviously inept at doing. 
Net net... why am I losing my mind??? I will miss Mothers day, I will miss his birthday, I will miss the entire month of May and likely most of if not all of June before I am back to hug my son again.  6 months... I can not forgive this lack of attention to detail and complete disregard for the children left to wait for Mamas they are told haven't forgot them.  How do you spell hurt and abandonment to a child in an orphange who is being told that Mama is coming back??? Try 6 months... he doesn't think I'm coming back.  Hell I wouldn't.  Angry and Irrational... there's not enough red wine and tranquilizers to get me through the next 8 weeks.

This blows.


Silvana said...

Stacey, I would be PISSED too!! It makes me sick that people forget that at the end of a neverending paper chase there is an innocent child who wants a family. I am praying for you, and you and Corbin are never far from my thoughts.

Shelly said...

No excuses, rant and rave. But where is the sub judge who fills in while she is on vacation. In Khab it was a man last year. The main judge went on vac. he came in and reviewed our paperwork and gave us a court date in 7 days. She was still out when we went there so he heard our case and was very pro adoption. Just FYI... Hugs!

Michelle said...

Wow! Nothing ticks me off more than other peoples incompetence! This is ridiculous! It really irks me that agencies and the "big people" can't seem to complete a task at hand and the little one's are left in the wake..very unfair. You know you are doing everything in your power to get to him. I'm saying some prayers so your day comes soon!

Candra said...

Oh Stacey, this seems sooo very unfair to you all. Why should it take so long to get a child out of the system and into a loving home? There just has to be a better way.
Are you allowed to send him letters and care packages while you are apart?

alicia said...

praying for a miracle. regardless of a man-made single date to celebrate mothers, you will be his mama for thousands of days! don't give up!!

Silvana said...

Shocking, as soon as feathers are ruffled some progress. Sending you hugs.