Russia + Canada - you knew this was coming

In the last one he is protesting LOUDLY that, "I skating Mama. NO PICTURES!!! I WANT SKATING NOW!!!"  We were at the rink for 2 hours in total (including making new friends, resting by the fire, snack, and lots and lots of skating) and by the end he was ready to take a few steps on his own towards me just like learning to walk.  He proclaimed with excitement over and over, "It's Slipp-ew-eee Mama, dee ice is slipp-ew-eeee!!!" He didn't complain once about the helmet, falling down or his skates hurting his feet.  The only complaint came when I said we had to go.  He wanted to go swimming next... and when that failed, he headed back towards the arena.  Tomorrow he gets to come to my hockey game and be on the bench with the team... I think his head might explode with delight.  So much fun!

4 Months already

Today marks 4 months almost exactly to the minute that he walked through the front door of our home, had his first bath, demolished a wonderful car cake, opened some presents and passed out from exhaustion in his bed for the first time.  Four months ago I worked hard to bridge the language gap with "Russian For Adoptive Parents" learned from a CD and augmented by 5 weeks with Anna in Russia and chose to lay beside him sleeplessly at night rethinking this whole "co-sleeping" business and if it was for us.  We muddled through our days and Corbin bravely ran headlong into his new life.  Gone is the Russian, gone is the quiet little boy who took everything in, gone are the pants that fell down, gone are 2 pairs of shoes, gone is the "liver yuck", gone are most of the eating battles, gone is the tricycle, and gone are any questions of how he would manage leaving the life he knew behind.  We've said hello to so many family, friends, experiences, so much laughter, so many cute sayings, so many skills (like riding his 2 wheeler like a mad man after just one kick at the cat - ok yes it has training wheels but it only took about 200 meters to figure out how pedaling back made the brakes go or that he had to watch, steer AND pedal all at the same time - now it's look out world.)  So many people have chuckled and commented that he is SO much like me in the way he tackles life - the jumping in and swimming, the bike riding, the running, the walking without a stroller for 3 1/2 hours at the zoo (and by walking I mean running amok where he can and being reigned in where he can't), the quick smile and sense of ha ha, the I'll try anything once - maybe twice after a hug and probably most strongly as of late... the way karma comes around to laugh HAHA HA!!! as this child of mine talks NON STOP!!!  My friend Kari said something that touched me today when she said, "If you and Scott were to have had a child, it would have been him..." (we had been talking about the stuff he "just does" and the fact that I needed a quiet, padded room from the incessant talk - and I do mean INCESSANT!!! The questions, the color commentary, the requests and ongoing noise from him is incredible).  So that's four... come and gone just like that.  So many memories, so much fun.  I'm exhausted. I'm happy.
This week my little guy will be filled with your first time on skates, watching your first hockey game (which will "star" Mama playing, singing Mama happy birthday, Halloween and more non stop commentary of it all.  Just like the last one, it's gonna be a great week :)

The Very Most Thankful Of All

It's not that I'm in Bermuda that I'm most thankful for - although spending a day on a boat in my swimsuit wakeboarding certainly makes the radar as it's just as likely that I find myself in snowboots at home in October.  It's not that I spent the day with friends old and new that prove that geography and circumstance know no bounds of the ties that bind that make me most thankful.  It's not enjoying an amazing meal, bottle of wine, warm breeze, outstanding Italian service and fresh pasta followed up by INCREDIBLE chocolate lava cake tonight that makes me most thankful.  It's not being reverent for the fact that I am in a place, space and time in life that 95% of the population on earth will never enjoy with health, ability, and opportunity that makes me most thankful.  It is quite plainly and obviously watching my son experience life with fresh, happy, thirsty for experience eyes that makes me the very most thankful of all.  I find myself speechless so often in the wonder that is him as he mundanely goes about his days astonishing me without batting so much as an eye.  Today, I saw my son happily swim away from me on his own... life jacket snapped on for safety, "pool noodle" stabilizing his way as he swam his way towards the beach where he and Michelle had scoped out a small swing set up for a boy just his size.  He must have swam back and forth 6 times grinning ear to ear announcing that he is fast like the boats.  Steph taught him to blow bubbles, he learned more new words like "wake boarding" and jumped from the back of the boat into my arms in the water like he's been on a boat from day one.  We all say it... and we all believe with our whole hearts that it's true... My son, it becomes more obvious to me every day that you are MEANT to be in my life... meant to be my son... meant to teach me lessons about adoration and love and celebration and love, meant to wow me with your laissez faire approach to OMG!!! I can't believe that you do the things you do and neither can the people who are meeting you.  I can't wait for forever and I'm beyond thankful on this Thanksgiving that you have blessed my life with your zest, enthusiasm, spirit, humor, love, and I can do anything attitude. And, you are right - you can do anything - please just wait until I have my camera ready.  So thankful... so amazing... so you. 
Happy Thanksgiving to my Canadian friends and to the American ones we're cooking for tomorrow! 
Did I say it clearly enough... Wow... you amaze me... over and over.

On the road - Part III

Well here we are in sunshiney Bermuda!  Finally some well deserved vitamin D after a summer that certainly didn't provide much of it at home.  I as the Mama can tell you this: Vacations will never be the same. Long gone are the laissez faire, by the seat of my pants vacation where I toured about on a scooter where it momentarily and very rarely slipped my mind that they drive on the "wrong side" of the road. Now, I'm weighed down with car seats and strollers (one of which Air Canada broke and the other of which they forgot to put on the plane but did arrive the following day thankfully!) and sunscreen and beach toys and life jackets but I wouldn't trade back for the world.  The weather has been amazing (SPF 60 worthy for sure) and as we boarded Wil & Michelle's boat I wondered if the rough waters and loud engine would scare Corbin.  We headed out and he proved my fears wrong as he beamed from ear to ear as we bounced over the ocean waves and his quest to drive the boat was answered.  It seems this kid was born for the water.  When we arrived I told him we would get to swim in the Ocean, play in the sand and ride on some boats.  Well, BOAT! was all he heard - and all I have heard since then lol.  He woke up the first night eyes heavy with jet lagged sleep and retorted loudly, "BOAT! BOAT! BOAT!" and then promptly went back to sleep.  The ranting list of what we've done reads like this: Ferry boats, Buses, Beaches, Swimming, Bermuda Shorts, Michelle's Birthday, Wil's Boat, Fish & Chips, Sand Castles, Sunscreen, Shade, Rum Swizzles for Mama, Corbin's first Coke, ice cream, new words like light house, ocean, scooter, "mo-to bike" (he has said that for a long time but it's funny because his accent comes out), palm tree, ferry boat, pung-baw(b) (which is of course sponge bob lol),  cruise ship, tree frog,  and one of my favorites "no hank-you" which means he's learning to be a polite little boy :) 
I think every adoptive parent wonders how "the first" anything will be.  Well, our first trip has gone without a hitch thus far.  The flight - he was a champ.  The red eye is no treat for anyone never mind a 3 year old but he managed it like a pro.  Napping, chatting with seat mates and being a generally good little traveler.  He is an airport pro even on no sleep and a great little cuddler while he naps :)  Surprisingly, eating - it is going great. No issues here.  He might be hitting a growing spurt or something given the amount he's eating and sleeping - I guess time will tell.  It's been a blast and will be for another week as Mama's friend Steph arrives on Saturday for a visit.  We have big plans... including the infamous Rum Swizzle and more beaches, sand and boats.  Don't worry Steph, I've got the sunscreen.  Monday is our first Thanks Giving as a family and while it won't be at home with our family, we'll be here with my family of friends.  There will be ham instead of Turkey (who wants to be inside for the day roasting a turkey when there are beaches to bathe on?) and there might not be some of the things you'll become accustomed to for holiday celebrations but there will be love... and no mater where we are, I'll be thankful for that. 
Oh yeah, one more funny thing from the road? We were grocery shopping with Michelle for birthday party BBQ supplies when we walked through the liquor section of the store.  Corbin announced while pointing to the wine, "MOMMY JUICE!!!" and I quietly laughed and said yes... it's Mama Juice... To which he retorted while pointing to the Corona, "MORE MAMA JUICE!!! Dis One Same (as home) with CAMELS!" To which I respond, "Yes Corbin, Mama has the same at home"... this goes on and on in an isle that suddenly felt like it was a football field long.  Oh well, everyone there got a good chuckle out of it and I'm sure they'd all be surprised at how infrequently I actually indulge in the Mama Juice.

A visit from Anna & a boy and his dog

Our Anna from Khabarovsk is here for a visit.  Our Anna who made our trip wonderful, meaningful and most importantly sane is here in Canada.  Having Anna here has been an opportunity for me to give back to someone who really was the high point in my time on trip two.  We've spent time visiting and sight seeing and while that's been fun for Mama, it's brought up some hiccups for my little man.  Thankfully it didn't take long for me to recognize subtle and eventually not so subtle changes in my boy for what they were.  It started out with what I would call "bratty" outbursts or not listening, or just repetitive things (requests, demands, "in my face" behavior) that I just brushed off as a bad day... then it was 2 days... It grated on me something fierce - not because it was awful, but because it was out of character for Corbin.  After a particularly trying series of demands which made me want to invoke the we both need a time out clause, I stopped... and simply asked him if he needed a hug... (because I did) and he burst into tears and said Yes... I need cuddles.  In a moment where I wanted to push him away... it turned out that was exactly NOT what he needed.  As the house of cards began to fall, I learned that my boy was likely overwhelmed, confused, scared and insecure about the arrival of our Anna. There had been much Russian spoken to and around him and compounding that is the fact that we had started to talk about our vacation where we would be flying on an airplane.  1 + 1 = a little boy who possibly wondered if the Russian speaking lady from when Mama came was here to put him on the plane.  Since I recognized this for what it most likely is there has been dedicated cuddle time, reinforcing conversations that I am his forever Mama (he has asked probably 75x "Corbin's Mama?") and random snuggles just to put him at ease.  He's even been more territorial with Lyric and is back to himself.  All in all I think that this is good for us - he has learned that I'm not going anywhere and that he can trust me when he is afraid.  Perhaps stresses like this help to solidify that this is permanent... you're stuck with me kid! So, tomorrow we're off to Banff with Anna - I can't wait to see her face when she sees the mountains close up.  And in other random "we've been busy" news, Corbin attended 2 birthdays in one day - one for a little friend at gymnastics (read: MAMA JUMPING!!!) and one for Uncle Jeremy and all in the same day, Corbin also got to meet some very special men in Mamas life - my old soccer coaches.  I love that they still love me and couldn't wait to meet my boy :) 

He is amazing

Family pictures... For so long I stood back pretending to be busy while the rest of my friends and family captured moments to keep for a lifetime. I don't have to pretend it doesn't bother me anymore. I have a family. Here are our pictures.

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Playdates, baking and follow up doctors appointments

The whrilwind never stops around here... wait... even before Corbin there was always some sort of tornado of activity so I guess I just like it that way :)  We visited the "kids hospital" as Corbin calls it earlier this week.  Great news, he's growing (one inch in 2 months), gaining weight (2.5+ lbs in 2 months) and talking at a level that the doctor said she would expect from a home grown kiddo.  He even managed to argue with her about the finer points of "POOH Bear" vs "POLAR Bear"... she said whatever we are doing at home it's all good and she can't wait to see what he comes up with after starting preschool in November.  No concerns, no follow up and no additional appointment until the new year. 

We've spent time with many other friends and Corbin talks about it for days afterwards.  It's one of the things I enjoy now - his reasoning and language skills have developed so that he talks about what he DID and what he WANTS to DO later.  Busy week with playdates for him and for me.  He is getting more restless and harder to entertain at Mommy lunches but loves to eat Sushi which I am thrilled about :)  He could have ridden forever with Uncle Jeremy in his "Small car" and I love to watch him give hugs and kisses when we leave.  Here are some pictures of our day with his special friends who will remain nameless since I didn't ask Mama and Papa if I could post.  Suffice to say, we love 'em and Corbin could have raced in the kitchen for hours and hours - could have been the sugar rush from the cookies but... whatever it was it was so cute to watch! 
The other fun stuff keeps rolling in: We spent this afternoon with Anna from Khabarovsk (my angel who I stayed with!) who is here for a visit for two weeks.  She couldn't believe how happy and settled in Corbin is - he really isn't interested in hearing any Russian anymore and raises his hand and says "NO" or waves it off which was heartbreaking for Anna I think.  We'll see more of her coming up and have some pictures to share I'm sure.  On Sunday my little man will have the chance to meet some very special people to Mama.  My old soccer coaches are coming into town for a visit.  I have respected and admired these men for the better part of my life and I'm thrilled that they still consider me a friend after so many years.  The tears will flow (and not from me... but grown men don't cry right?) as we reminisce about the times, the games, the wins and the lessons learned but mostly the fact that you never lose track of good people who make your world better.  Knuddie and Alvin - can't wait to see you... P.S. Corbin already has a mean shot ... I think he'll be a solid mid fielder too just like his Mama :)

The babysitter is coming at 6

Those words felt sooooo good to say and so over due.  It's strange... for so long all I could do was obsess about how badly I wanted to get him here and into his bed and after only 2 1/2 months, the relief I felt at having at having a SILENT car ride followed by a nice dinner, a bottle of wine, some adult conversation and the most incredible dessert I've had in a long long time.  I got to do my hair, put some perfume on and I even wore beautiful shoes that by the time I crossed the parking lot and street, climbed the flight of stairs and arrived at our table had me cursing the practicality of 4" stilettos... I've missed the girl who fearlessly tackled a night of dancing in these beasts and who didn't feel like crashing at 11:10... but I also spent half the night talking about my boy, our adventures, the funny stories, and the things we've done.  My feet hurt in a good way that reminds me that I can have both... I can wear the shoes, do my hair and still proudly tote the spider man back pack full of gold fish crackers and dinky cars.  Yes people, it's official... you can have your cake and eat it too (thanks to the babysitter with amazing parents who offered their girls up from the day I knew I was adopting who live around the corner and will provide much needed sanity breaks and availability to cover soccer and hockey games... did I mention I love you???) 
Serenity now... serenity now... serenity now :)

Random Musings from Russia

I find myself telling the stories of my time in Russia and remembering moments that didn't make the blog for one reason or another, but that I don't want to forget.  So, as they come up, I'll share some funny memories. 

"Mama Ka-kat!!!"
It's a beautiful morning for a walk in Khabarovsk and Corbin and I are strolling along the promenade peacefully enjoying the cooler temperatures and sparse Russian crowds in an area that soon becomes packed with festivities and action.  We would get up at about 7:30, eat and then head out for a walk until noon.  Dressed in his new finest threads imported from Canada sans pull up, I hadn't really contemplated where facilities are located along the walk (rookie move).  I had scouted for them in the afternoons and evenings and in the vendors, bathrooms were plentiful.  At this hour however (nothing gets going until after lunch) not a toilet was to be seen.  Bear in mind that communications between the little Russian and Big Mama were full of enthusiasm but lacking in content so when I heard "MAMA...KA-KAT!" loud and clear from my babes mouth I shuddered in horror as I frantically scanned for the nearest facsimile to a toilet... AH HA! porta potty... NYET! guarded by some grumpy looking Baba I needed some amount of money payable in Rubles to use the nasty stench of a potty... I only had some bigger bill and she had no change and quite frankly I wasn't ready to part with what could have turned out to be $20 to have him be afraid of the nasty hole in the lumber... time was seriously of the essence.  Fine then, I'll take that bush... I don't have the language, the charades skills nor the inclination to ask for directions to the nearest approvable location so... we dart dash and do do.  Thankfully Mama had a zip lock full of wipes.  While you are disgusted with my behavior, it's worse: that this was not the only time that a bear pooped in the woods... but what do you do??? Like a good "owner" however, I did bag and tag the next one for proper disposal.  I have however repented since I've been home and am happy to say that there has been no pooping in the woods since we've been back.  Oh yeah, and I'm a better charades player in English :)
Stay tuned... there are way more stories from the trenches.

Today we danced

While the statement of "today we danced" might not seem like much to celebrate, for me, it was an amazing morning.  Corbin has been headstrong, confident and a "doer" since the moment I met him.  In his own self assured way he steps confidently in the directon of what he wants and sees BUT he has pushed me away in wanting to dance with him and even in singing TO him.  For anyone who knows me, I sing all the time in the house and car - he didn't mind this but singing "ABC" or "Ring around the Rosey" or anything else was met with MAMA!!! NO!!!  In the last few days he's been more interested in doing the hockey pokey or doing roll play along with the folks on TV cartoons.  This morning I looked up from my coffee to see him dancing away to the song on the radio.  I smiled and asked if he would dance with Mama?  Answer - big smile and YES!  We danced away to "you and me baby we're stuck like glue".  These are the moments - the ones we dream of - the ones we wait for... today I danced with my boy (followed by horsey rides, squealing like a dolphin, trying to ride the dog (OH NO CORBIN!) and kissing the computer screen as we talked with my friend Steph because he wanted to say a special hello! 
Mornings for us are special so I'll add this to the list of great stuff.  Every day I open the door to see him wriggling from under the blankets to emerge with the BIGGEST smile and "good morning Mama! Cuddle pease!" I crawl in and we cuddle for awhile... until the dog jumps on the bed and Corbin launches to cover her up with his "binkie"  He is just so affectionate.  He will crawl on my chest and say, "hugs mama" or "more kisses" - I don't want to get up and leave the moment... but we do and now there will be dancing :)

On the road - part II

Corbin and I hit the road again over the long weekend to play a little soccer at provincials.  He charmed the ladies in the van and cheering (read: playing with everyone elses kids) from the side lines.  He was perfectly entertained and having him run onto the field after the final whistle will never ever get old (even though I am er will get old).  I was thankful that there were other kids to play with and a dad with the patience of a saint and the arms of an octopus to play catch, kick soccer balls, feed tim bits, wipe noses and clap for goals scored all at the same time.  I honestly didn't know what to expect for such long games and freedom to run here and there but Corbin never ceases to surprise me and was an angel once again.  Even our trip to the big fat mall was met with patience and hand holding and resulted in the major find I was needing for Tianna's belated birthday gift.  At the end of it all, we came away with the gold for the 5th year running - but this year was harder fought.  Nationals are in BC this year which will mean better weather than last years winter wonderland.  Unfortunately the ankle injury that kept me down for the better part of the summer will have me sit this one out but I'll try not to mind as I sip my rum punch from the beaches of Bermuda and watch Corbin soak up some vitamin D.  Leg three from the road will be with sun screen and umbrella drink in hand.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.... I can feel the vacation start to kick in already.  Can't wait to see the girlz on the rock and enjoy your never ending hospitality!

Meant to be

I came across the song and video by Steven Curtis Chapman from a discussion about a new children's cartoon "Veggie Tales - It's a meaningful life" which is set for release in early October. I'm sure everyone has become accustomed to the wonderful music that comes from Mr. Chapmans heart for adoption and this one is no exception. I haven't looked into the video too much yet but I understand from this music video it has an adoption theme and is very touching.  I (like probably most of you) cried just a little while I listened to this song and watched the video (even if it features hopping cucumbers as main characters?) My little cucumber had a full day of adventure today. We started today with a trip to the ped dentist to get the 411 on what will need to be done to correct the aftermath of being left in a crib with a bottle for way too long - all I can say is thank God for great dental insurance coverage YIKES~!!!!  After that we stopped in at my home study agency office to say hello to the people who helped bring him home.  Everyone was so excited to meet him and they were full of questions about Russia, the process and how he is doing.  It didn't take long for him to speak for himself about how he is doing and they are thrilled for our little family of 2.  They asked me to come back to speak for Adoption Month seminars about IA and adopting as a single - I was happy to accept the invitation and am looking forward to talking about the highs and lows of the adventure.  We closed out the day at the Zoo.  What a difference a month makes.  On his first trip to the Zoo Corbin probably couldn't believe his eyes and didn't have the language to express what he was seeing... today it was a much different story.  He knew the names to most of the animals and certainly had his favorites.  A giraffe came to have lunch about 5 feet away from Corbin and he was mesmerized (so was I - sans camera).  He loved the Hippos and the Gorillas the best and crashed into bed tonight with eyes to heavy for his normal "2 books".  Today was one of our best days... I couldn't help but look at him and just feel really warm and happy.  He's learned so much and gives me so much unsolicited love it's just good for my heart. At dinner tonight as he sat eating, he looked over at me and asked to hold my hand.  Life is good... nah... life is amazing... we were meant to be.  Enjoy the video.

Steven Curtis Chapman - "Meant to Be" Music Video from David Watson on Vimeo.

On the road - part 1

Whoops... that's a lot of pictures... but I couldn't stop myself from hitting attach - yes I'm biased but he is a cute cute little boy if I do gush myself :)

This is part 1 because the little Russian and I have a lot of travel coming up for us.  Tonight we returned from a visit to Saskatchewan where we visited and met more family and friends.  Highlights were Mel and Kayins' baby shower and spending time with "Baba G-G".  There are not many joys like watching the face of an 87 year old woman light up when she gets "noses" from her great grandson.  I wish I could bottle that - I'm pretty sure it would be an ingredient in youth serum.  Corbin is a fantastic little traveler.  I didn't even have to break out the emergency DVD loaded with Taw-moose the train! for the 6 hour trip to Saskatoon or the 7+ hour ride home from another GG's today.  The back seat choruses keep me smiling.  Corbin LOVED hanging out with his little buddy Kayin Mamush and would have eaten a million meatballs at Ukrainian day in the park but the line up was too long for Mama!  We had photos done while we were there and I'm hoping they turn out better than I feel like they did.  Corbin left his cuteness at home and turned into wile 3 year old who wouldn't look at the camera and when he did, I think my eyes might have been closed! But, she was good... so the proof will be... well... in the proofs!  We won't get those until we are away on our vacation to the beach but I'm sure we will be too busy to worry about that! 
Today he learned what a pump jack is and happily pointed them out all the way home.  Corbin is officially counting to 10 and knows Black, white, blue, green, red, pink, orange, yellow, grey, silver... but it's funny because most often he spurts out whatever color is on the tip of his tongue and then actually looks at what he is being asked and corrects himself - so second time's a charm (right now everything is PINK! because that is his newest color acquisition).  We've officially been home for 2 months now that the 24th has passed.  No more Russian is heard at all... "I Ya!" is replaced with WANT PEASE MAMA!!! When my aunt Debbie and Uncle Dwayne met him today they were mesmerized - my uncle shook his head and said, "you'd never know he hasn't been with you from the start... I can't believe how much English he knows already and how he doesn't stop TALKING and RUNNING!!! They are pretty sure he was meant to be mine :)  I can't wait to dress him in the perfect little cowboy vest and chaps they gave him - looks like Halloween took care of itself!
Corbin is back for his 2 month check in with the IA doctor here in town on the 11th and he has a peds dentist appointment on Thursday.  He's gained 2 1/2 lbs since he's been home which puts him above 50% for weight with his height just short of that.  I couldn't be more relieved to know he's as healthy as he is happy!  The only other bit of update is that Corbin has a spot in 2 morning a week preschool starting in November.  The doctors both agreed that with his adjustment and attachment going so well that it would be good for him to get some structured language, learning and "head start" catch up to ensure that we can identify and work on any of the things that he is behind in.  I've been so lucky to find a great program that is play based educational focus with a spot available for him when we get back from Bermuda! 
Well, we're off to Edmonton for soccer Provincials this weekend.  I am fortunate to play with a talented bunch of girls who I played with and against over the years in club ball and at university.  They are a bit of a dynasty and I'm glad to be along for the ride - especially this year as I missed so much with travel and then with my ankle injury.  We still play at a level where there are national championships so here's to another solid showing and no snow this year!!! Glad to be home - going to sleep in my own bed (I'll save the story of the motor inn in Assinaboia Saskatchewan and it's resemblance to a hotel in Siberia for another time - although the beds were considerably more comfortable). Spacoina nochey!

Could have been the vaporub... but I'm pretty sure it wasn't

Binky - $20
Chibu-rash-ka (or just rachka) - 4500 Rub and a plane ride home from Russia to sing lulabies
night light - $5
lullabye music CD - $12
Having your fiercely independent, easy going, resiliant little 3 year old Russian cry out for you because he's sick and needs his Mama... priceless

We've been home almost 2 months (weird to say but true???) and it had to happen sometime.  I got sick.  Not just the sort of, "I've got the sniffles but it's not slowing me down" sort of sick - the sort that kicks you in the butt, cleans the stuffing out, takes your name and number and promises to come back for your kid sort of sick.  And it did.  My Mother and Father in law planned a really nice "welcome to the family" BBQ so that everyone could meet the little Russian and I was the one under the weather - until this morning.  Corbin woke with a nose full of "sneaky boogies" but his perpetual good mood wasn't impacted in the least.  We wrapped up after breakfast and made our way back to the city armed with 10 free passes to the amusement park for his cousins 8th birthday party - thankfully no one had to pay the $30 entry price - thanks Stacey W., Country 105 and Chorus entertainment!!! We dropped the tickets off and came home to re-group and assess if going back for an abreviated "happy birthday" to the twins could be managed.  He didn't seem to be slowed down at all so at 4 we arrived back with a wagon full of treats ready to row, fly, toot, BOING!, splash, and squeal... 
Then, the stuffing stealer made his promised return.  Corbin fought sleep on the 10 minute drive home, peed in his car seat (by the way, there are NO instructions on how to remove the "washable liner" from an Eddie Bauer Car seat but with some engineering, tenacity, creativity and cursing it DOES come out nicely and went back in more easily than I thought), ate a HUGE dinner and headed to bed.... which lasted until the quiet sobs of  "Mama... help... Mama... need you" came from his room.  When I picked him up from his sweaty slumber, the quiet sobs turned desperate and he clung to me and begged me 'stay Mama - stay - peas..."  For those of you with bio kids or who brought home babies, this moment may not resonate much... but for someone bringing home a boy who mostly needs me to tie his shoes, teach him to catch, cheer him on for kicking the ball in the goal, pick him up when he tips over on his bike and put a bandaid on his skinned knee... this was a BIG one.  We vapo-rubbed, tyleonol'd, had an icecream snack (and 2 yogurt tubes??? for the boy who doesn't always eat???) and some "Chai" before rocking my baby to sleep in the chair downstairs wrapped in his binkie and cuddled with "Rachka".  In the moonlight I watched his sleepy eyes finally close and his little chest labor to rise and fall as he relaxed into my arms.  I cherished every time he'd peek through a half open eyelid to check if I was still there and wondered if anyone had ever rocked him to sleep or held him when he was sick?  He spent 18 months in his birth family and 18 months "in the system" between the baby hospital and eventually the orphanage... He deserved to be held and loved - he's simply to precious and sweet and loving to have been left to cry alone (aren't they all?)
Could have been the Vapo rub that stung my eyes and made me misty... but I'm pretty sure it wasn't. 

Finally new photos

Like sands through the hourglass... so are the days of our lives (thinly veiled reference to the soap operas I'm occasionally catching after a 15 year hiatus given the interruption by that damn thing called working!).  Time is passing and Corbin (if this is possible?) gets cuter every day.  I have officially had to eradicate all funn-i-isms that are not repeat worthy because as it was humorous for the fist while (he'd parrot them back and then quickly forget) but now... not so much.  I'll refrain from sharing exactly what he sung in chorus for about half an hour after eating yesterday but it started out as a way for me to lighten the "please please please eat" chant when I off the cuff referred to Liverwurst as something even less flattering (if that is possible???).  I just about snorted coffee out my nose when he started up with it and then quickly had to replace it with a close sounding more acceptable description - so now, it's "liver-yuck" or "Vile-stuff" Anyway, he hasn't said it today so I hope it's gone but let me apologise in advance if something pops out later. 
Corbins language continues to explode. All that's left is malinki, I-ya, the occasional Di...the rest is all English.  Well, we are both off for a nap.  He doesn't need one - I do.  I feel like I'm coming down with a cold and before the road trip next week, I better nip this in the bud. 

This and that

6 weeks home already.  I realized tonight how very little Russian exists in either my or Corbins conversations now.  The odd word pops out but English is dominant - there is no more "pu-pat-za Mama?" or "couchit Da?" or "I Ya Peet Sok" - the most common Russian is "I ya" which I am certain is I want to but is now followed by the thing he "wants to" in English. I also stoped to think that I no longer feel compelled to explain things to him in Russian but without the words that I did know (a BIG shout out to Theresa Kelleher and her Russian for adoptive parents CD - simply couldn't have made it without it!).  Last night my in laws came over to visit (and fix a few things here and there for me) and as they were leaving I asked Corbin who gave him the new toy he was playing with.  I wasn't sure that he would understand and the long pause suggested I could be right but just as I was going to fill in the blank for him he quzzically looked at me and said, "D-yeah Dushka and Bahbushka... oh yes (which is how he ends many statements lol).  Corbin's receptive English is incredible - I think he gets pretty much everything I say to him.  His vocabulary has exploded to include 90% of the words in the one bed time book we read (the others I often skip over) and of the 90% he is right probably 85% of the time on them.  The ones that make me smile the most are when he sees a smart car and he announces, "Small (which comes out more like Schmall) car mama!" and how excited he gets when he sees that stupid "Chicken Tuesday" Taco commercial on TV... he yells CHICKEN!!! for about 10 minutes (thank you Old El Passo!).  Corbin has met some new friends recently and is facinated by Mel and Dwaynes little guy who has just come home from Ethiopia.  We all spent the last 5 days together and tonight when I was putting Corbin to bed we talked about where he keeps his love when he sleeps... he learned about where his heart is and that Love is there.  We started talking about the people in our life that we love - listing them off and saying their love is in his heart - he quickly announced that Baby Mushi is in his heart... melted again.  Having friends here for awhile gave Corbin the opportunity to try out his voice announcing "MINE" over everything including me - which is so amazing to hear.  Today I gave him a new toy to play with so that I could vacuume - it's a little tiny tent with various farm animals inside - when I came into the room he had stowed himself away inside this little tiny thing - peeking out the top with his little smile.  Other cute stuff? He found a button at the playground yesterday and when I said it's a button he became very concerned that his belly button had somehow fallen off.  Well, we fixed that up.  Dyeh dushka gave him a little tool box with an "electric drill" - he re-installed his belly button and life goes happily on.  This week was very busy and very fun except for one very big dark cloud hanging over a friend waiting to bring her son home that suddenly began to hail.  I wish and hope and pray nothing more than little baby "A" comes home to pop pop because I quite frankly think that she as a single Mama has the super powers of 4 full time parents and the love of an army for the lucky little boy.  If you've got room at the end of your good thoughts / prayers / hopes list, could you throw one on for pop pop?
I have new pictures... but I also have a new computer... and the two aren't talking - so this might take a minute or two!

Just like riding a bike

There are parts of bringing Corbin home that I anticipated and pretty much all that I looked forward to, but there are moments that have surprised me in that they have been so bittersweet and twinged with memories I didn't expect. Way back when, Scott introduced me to mountain biking.  The deal was, if he would buy roller blades (something I did a lot of back in the day) I had to get a mountain bike (clearly Math wasn't my strong suit since he wasn't talking a $50 Walmart special with tassels from the handlebars).  I can still remember my first ride.  He was beaming ear to ear as we made our way up a LONG, MUDDY, SLIPPERY, half SNOW covered mountain trail... I couldn't ride the clipless pedals very well yet and spent a lot of time picking myself up from the puddles and cursing the sport (and him under my breath... just a bit).  But I'm not a quitter and I made it to the top.  I was looking forward to an easy cruise down (NOT) but what lay between me and the downhill (which I soon learned to love) was a section where you had to "hike your bike" (READ: hoist it up onto your shoulder so that you can climb with your free hand up a rock face to the summit).  Now although I'm no quitter, and I'm certainly not a "girlie girl" who waits prettily for a boy to lay his jacket down over the puddle (I'm far more likely to jump across and keep running)  BUT as I assessed the situation from my tired, muddy, soaking wet vantage point I simply announced that when he got to the top he was welcome to come back down and grab my bike.  He did, and he did it happily because as he told me later, he expected me to say I quit 45 minutes before that.  From there Scott and I traveled around mountain to mountain, place to place exploring the amazing sites and rides.  He proposed to me on one of those trips and it was the best day of my life (tied with the day I met Corbin).  We talked a lot about kids, families, bike trips, bike trailers, and the adventures we would have as a family.  Yesterday I realized just how long it has been since I've been on my bike.  I ventured into "our bike store" to realize how much things have changed.  It's 4x the size now and the bikes have such new technology mine seems like a dinosaur.  Standing there looking for the bike trailer section I started to feel a bit queasy and had to blink pretty hard to keep my stinging eyes from tearing up past the point of no return.  I managed to make the purchase and fumble through the installation process at home before I hiked my bike up from the basement.  I looked over the collection of bike paraphernalia down there and gently dusted off my road bike making a silent promise that I'd ride it again this summer too... I still wonder who will install the clips into my new shoes... I just don't know how - Scott always did the bike maintenance "stuff".  Later that night on my driveway, I took a deep breath as I clumsily clipped back into the pedals and took the chariot and my son for his first ride.  It was surprisingly smooth and Corbin chattered away from the back like he had always been meant to ride shotgun.  Life's like that... like riding a bike. No matter how hard the climb is or how muddy or how riddled with puddles, even if you need someone to carry you to the top... the down hills a blast as long as you hang on tight and remember to clip out when it gets too hard... it's always OK to walk with a friend.
I'll always wonder what it would have been like to watch Scott be a dad, and I know I'd be a better Mama with him here to cheer us on but he'll always be with me for all the rides in my life - in my heart he helped give me the strength to climb the hills on my own. 

Time flies when you are having fun - 1 month home

Wow... one month home feels like a flash... one month waiting felt like an eternity.  I remember back to the silence - the deafening silence.  Days crept past and turned into weeks, months and years without permission.  I felt so helpless and small - I felt like I was caught in some bad joke or the very least an out of control situation that I was a passenger on - and I'm not a particularly good / patient passenger and I certainly didn't find any humor in the wait.  Then, when I got Corbin's referral things kicked (momentarily) into overdrive.  Everything needed to be done NOW!!!  FedEx, Puroletter, DHL (especially DHL) trucks all gave me the chills and made my stomach do little flips.  Trip one - amazing, overwhelming, terrifying, beautiful, barren, chilling... but in the end - perfect.  I'll never forget the rapid fire kisses and his parting words that he didn't want me to leave - he had enough toys.  Then, 5 very very long months - I'm sure my floor has grooves in it from pacing. I hate knowing that my friend Steph is wearing deep grooves in her floors and crying the very same sad, helpless tears waiting for a court date that sticks.  I hate that the heartless actions of some random woman can hurt such an amazing, funny, smart, courageous, ready willing and able Mama and would give anything to take that pain away (or at least provide a lobotomy for the wait?) but there are no words, no shoulder, no nothing that can help the time pass... just skype conversations to fill time.  For me, then finally came trip 2.  Court trip is still a recent memory and full of emotions that haven't settled just yet but I dont' spend time thinking about those things because I now have so many more wonderful and amazing things to do.  Those things revolve around being a Mama to an incredibly resiliant, happy, easy child - my son.  The IA doctor was 100% right in her opinion that there was something in his eyes - there is an undeniable spirit - a resiliancy - an ability to smile, laugh, and more important than anything, to love.  One of his caregivers told me on trip one while I rocked him in my arms that, "THIS is all he ever wanted - He wants to be loved... He wants a Mama."  Now I have him and he has me. 
Best momnts lately?  Walking away from the soccer field, him kicking the ball ahead and I have a moment of "WOW"... and I tell him that I love him... and he YELLS back "I LUB YOOOO" and keeps running.  Next, yesterday at dinner, I was finished and watching him eat while I sort of "danced" to the music on the radio in my chair... sternly, he looked at me, picked up my fork and handed it to me and said, "MAMA! EAT! No Musica!"  Touche my little guy... no dancing at the table... eat... He is getting more confident in telling me what he wants, likes and is thinking.  Every day is a wonderful adventure of learning, listening, laughing and best of all, Loving him.  This last month have been better than I could ever have imagined. 
Thank you Corbin for coming into my world and making it so much more colorful and full of love.  You are the perfect little boy for me - I'll try hard to be a good Mama for you - you deserve it :)
All my love!

Amusement park beaming

Well, I think we covered every mode of transportation today... Planes, trains, automobiles, horses, boats, hot air balloons, even spinning strawberries... hard to tell which one he liked best - actually, it wasn't - but I don't have a picture of it because I was on it with him.  It was some sort of octopus ride thing that whipped you around REALLY fast - in fact, I was concerned as it fired up that it would be too much for Corbin... but no - he SQUEALED with delight - actually we both did.  It was so much fun.  Thankfully we have a seasons pass to the park and it is only about 10 minutes from the house so we can spend many afternoons there. 

In other great news, I had Corbin weighed today and he has broke the 30 lb mark!!! In one month my little guy has gained 1.5 lbs... I guess the avocado, cream cheese, liver pate, meat and veggies hidden in the most unassuming places are doing their thing.  I can't wait for him to hit a growth spurt too and see how he grows!  Other than that, we are making some changes to our regularly scheduled schedule.  He didn't have a nap today... I'm trying that since as much as he seems to like / need his afternoon nap, he is not going to sleep until about 10:30 each night.  He is tucked in at 8:30 but quietly plays and fiddles until about 10 no matter what I do.  Tonight it was an 8:30 firm bedtime with no nap... sleeping by 9.  He's a good sleeper - even if he does fall asleep easily at bedtime he doesn't wake up until I come in.  Any advice???

Oh yeah... and after only 2 or 3 episodes of Thomas the Train... my ears are bleeding with demands of "Taw-MOOSE TV!!!" steady... you would think I plunk him in front of it for hours!!!  He was thrilled to have a ride on and picture with "Taw-MOOSE!" today.  The only way I can get him off the topic is to tell him that the train is sleeping... oiy-vey...