Birth family search

What did they look like? Is he tall? Who do I look like? Will I go bald? There will be questions, of this I am certain. Corbin lived in the detsky Dom from 19 months to 3 years old and most people assume that children or people in general have no memories of being an infant. With my son as exhibit A, I can tell you that for us it is not true. There are memories. There are questions. There is hurt. There is sadness. There are happy moments. There is fear. Because he was from such a small village, there were also a lot of answers. The director at the baby home knew the family from when BM was a child. Anecdotally, I had many gaps filled in but for me, I felt like I owed my boy more. As his mom, I needed to anticipate the "what if" and go in search of the answers he may or may not choose to ask at any time in the future. Russia gave him roots and now it's my job to strengthen his wings so he might fly high in confidence and freedom. The topic of a search came up on trip two when I learned that my host who I stayed with was active as the on ground searcher for Mary Kirkpatrick. She told me about the heart wrenching stories of rejection and despair and that most searches don't provide much meaningful information. Even with that knowledge I asked her to pursue the search. Using my court documents as a guide, Anna located information that would lead her to the BF, maternal grandmother, Maternal uncle/aunt/cousins and another important family member. After the search was complete I settled in to digest and organize my thoughts on the information. There was certainly the bad and ugly - I expected that and it coincides with Corbin's memories. But, there is also an overwhelming amount of good, happy, loving, family ties that were flushed out too along with doors left open for future communication. I now have a file of photos and the answer to am I going to be tall or am I going to go bald? His roots aren't all bad. I've figured out how to manage the information and know it is his should he ask. I feel good about closing this chapter and have resumed grooming his tiny 5 year old wings. In the end, I'm really happy I did it. I didn't use Mary Kirkpatrick http://www.russianfamilysearch.com/ or Illich http://vladiker.narod.ru/For_adoptive_parents.htm But both have an excellent reputation in the field. Buddy, you look JUST like your uncle who is strong and proud and loving and honorable. They are happy you are loved. There are people in Russia who are happy you are home.