Sometimes the world stops... Just for a second

On Thursday I loaded Corbin up with his twin cousins for a road trip to Grandmas house. They giggled and chattered the whole two hours and excitedly bailed like tornadoes into Grandmas house where I got placated with a kiss and lingering hug goodbye. I whispered to him, "I'm going to miss you like crazy!" he pulled back, cocked his head to the side and asked,"why Mom? I will always come home you know?" (I tell him this when I go away)I guess I didn't look convinced so he added, "if it will make you feel better, you can sleep with my lion, he will help I promise." last year I didn't think either of us were ready for him to be away for 4 days... This year it was like he was born for sleepovers. In that moment, as I drove away, time stood still just a minute. Click. A photo in my memory. He's growing up and growing so confident. I headed back for the 2 hour drive home contemplating how I would spend my time alone. Weird. However, my meandering thoughts were rudely interrupted by a misguided deer that thought playing frogger with a minivan in the dark was a good idea. Again, time stood still. The accident itself was scary but not terrifying. It sucked - my neck hurts a bit, van is written off (hooray!), and the next 24 hrs were inconvenient, but time stood still in the recognition of "what if"? What if I swerved and crashed? What if I were hurt? What if I... I can't even think about that... About my boy. That is what was the worst part. Time stopped as I caught my breath and thought about what if? Being here alone was strange and quiet and lonely. I did miss him like crazy (although I tested the theory that after you have kids you can't sleep in anymore - happily, I report that for me, it's not true!) he came home rarin' to go to pedal heads bike camp for kids. I came home tonight to excited tales of the day and 3 hot, sweaty, beet red boys in the bouncy house in the back yard. Just now I went into his room to kiss his sleepy head goodnight and as I snuggled beside him, time stood still. With his head cradled in my hand, I looked up at the pictures on the wall from my first trip. He was so small - not much more than a baby. His tiny body has grown strong and tall and that tiny blonde head that I cradled in the palm of my hand that Christmas not long ago is now filled with stories and adventures of a young boy - no longer the baby back then. As I kissed him softly and whispered,"I love you little man." I wondered if he ever thought he'd hear those words so often? They feel so good to say... And they are amazing to hear. Time stood still. Ya Tibya Loo Bloo.